O Tom Basson, de que falei num post anterior, dá algumas dicas muito úteis sobre isto. Check it out:

“The First thing you should do in 2012″

When I was growing up my mother always told me I had “ants in my pants“. I was always excited or agitated about something, and couldn’t sit still for a second.

Not much has changed.

Even now I struggle to simply “be still”. My mind always active – always looking ahead to the “next” thing – I have to force myself to live in the present, and find quiet reflection really difficult.

And yet, in a world where things are moving so fast, I realise that sometimes in life, you have to stop before you can truly begin, and that pressing pause to be still and reflect is often the best way to start. Of course, you don’t want to live life looking behind you, but taking time out to intentionally slow down and consider the year gone past can be an extremely beneficial, rewarding, and productive thing to do. Trevor Hudson says,

“We don’t learn simply from experiences; we learn when we reflect on those experiences.”

Travis Gale, leadership coach and a good friend of mine, believes strongly in taking time out to reflect, and says that the key to healthy reflection is all about asking the right questions. He says, “Many of us look for answers, but few sit down and think about the right questions to ask. Questions have the uncanny knack to open up possibilities, to get us thinking out the box, and perhaps break down the limitations we put on ourselves.”

And so, before you start 2012, why not  STOP and ask the right questions? Questions like:

• What energised me most in 2011?
• Which relationships brought me the most joy? Why?
• Which relationships put me under the most pressure? Why?
• What were the “defining moments” of 2011?
• What strengths did I see in myself during 2011?
• Under which conditions did I see myself thrive?
• What did I avoid doing that I know I most needed to do?
• What books and mentors had the greatest impact on me? Why?
• Am I closer to my friends and family from my activities last year?

Answering these kind of questions allows you to accomplish two objectives. First, it forces you to focus on the important things in your life and not get lost in the trivial. Second, it provides an excellent platform to set goals for the new year.

“The Second thing you should do in 2012″

On Monday, I blogged about taking time out to reflect on the year gone past, and to start 2012 by asking the right questions. Today, I will share with you the second thing I think you should do as you launch into the new year:

Make a plan.

That’s it. Simple. Have a plan, and start working the plan. Of course, there are many ways to go about doing this, but here is my own simple 3-step process:

1) Start by creating a “Life Plan”

I first learnt about life planning many years ago from Stephen Covey’s book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and as I have used the process in some shape or form ever since, it has made all the difference.

So, why do you need a life plan? Three reasons:

1. It will give you clarity about where your life is headed.
2. It will keep you in balance when things get crazy.
3. It will give you peace of mind, knowing you are are addressing those aspects of your life that matter most.

Sadly however, very few people I’ve met have a plan for their life. They plan their career, their wedding, even their holidays. But it never occurs to them to plan their life.

As Michael Hyatt writes, “Most are passive spectators, watching their lives unfold, one day at a time. They are reactive rather than proactive. I believe that this is why so many people end up discouraged, disillusioned, and wondering what went wrong. They arrived at the wrong destination.“

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. You can live your life on purpose by creating your own personal life plan. If you have no idea what a life plan is, or where to start, check out these links:

Creating a Personal Life Plan & 7 Reasons Why You Need A Written Life Plan

2) Write Your Bucket List

When I was in Grade 8, my Life-Skills teacher told the class to write a list of 101 Things To Do Before You Die, and that’s exactly what I did. Today, 17 years later (yikes!), I still have that original list. If you’re interested check it out here.

To date I have completed 56 of the 101 items on my bucket list, which has been no easy feat.

Over the years this list has stopped me from becoming passive, apathetic or lazy. It has inspired me to take risks, step out of my comfort zone, and pursue adventures and challenges I could have easily made excuses for. Not only that, but is has been a whole lot of fun! Sometimes I think we take ourselves and life  too seriously, and having a few big-hairy-audacious-goals in front of you forces you to let loose and live a little.

So, what’s on your bucket list? And what are you waiting for?

3) Write Down Your Annual Goals

The last step is to look at the year ahead and, with your Life Plan and your Bucket List in hand, to write down a short list of goals, wishes, and dreams for 2012. Don’t overshoot – everything on the list must be achievable within the year – but also be bold and don’t sell yourself short.

My annual goals list usually has between 15 and 25 goals on it, and I try to include a few Bucket List items in there every year. It includes financial goals, goals for my marriage and my relationships, goals for my health and fitness, work goals, fun goals, and goals for my spiritual growth.

Finally, make sure you display your Annual Goals List somewhere where you’re likely to see it everyday. Mine is stuck up on the inside of my cupboard, as a daily reminder to me.

While steps 1 and 2 do take some time (I suggest trying to get away for an entire day), it is well worth the effort. Once you have your Life Plan and Bucket List in place, it becomes a quick and easy process of reviewing them every year, and writing down your annual goals. 

Bottom line is this: I want to be better in January 2013 than I was January 2012. And to do this, I believe I need a plan. And so do you.

“6 things to stop caring about today”

Every day is an oppourtunity to start again. A new beginning.

Sometimes however, in life, you have to stop before you can truly begin. So starting today, here are 6 things you should stop caring about:

1) Stop caring about everyone else’s opinion of you.

For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter. And yet we spend so much energy worrying about it. As Bill Cosby said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Choose a few people in your life whom you trust, who know you well, and who love you enough to tell you the truth (even if it hurts). Listen to them, and don’t bother too much about the rest.

2) Stop caring about your failures.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

Failures teach us important lessons. In fact, the biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake! Learn to fail forward.

3) Stop caring about the things you have no control over.

Some forces are out of your control. Accept this fact of life. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and a lack of peace.

4) Stop caring about being right all the time.

Someone once asked me, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?”

Funny. But true. Sometimes we can “win” the argument and “lose” our relationships in the process. Sometimes being “right” is far less important than simply being there for someone or listening to them.

5) Stop caring about what others have.

It’s so natural for us to compare “up”. We look at that friend of ours with the mansion and the sexy car, or at the boss with the corner office. We fool ourselves by thinking we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at. Unfortunately this simply isn’t true. It’s a moving target. A mirage.

Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now. Try comparing yourself to those who have less. Hopefully it opens our eyes to all the things we can be grateful for, and spurs us on to generosity.

6) Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect.

So often perfection is the enemy of good.

Because we can’t find the “perfect plan” or the “ideal answer” to the problem, we simply give up and do nothing at all. Sometimes a bad plan is better than no plan at all.

Stop looking for the “silver bullet” or the “magic formula” that will solve all your woes, and focus rather on simply taking the next right step, even if that step is small.”

“Estarei sempre a seu lado e com a minha força o sustentarei”

Salmo 88